29 New Sodalicious Soda Ideas

By Dalton Johnson
Features
29 New Sodalicious Soda Ideas

Anyone that’s been to Sodalicious knows they have the best soda names in the soda naming business. That’s half the reason you go. I would gladly pay $5 for the right to say “Your mom, extra dirty” in public. And I do. But I think it’s high time they expanded their menu to keep things fresh. So, without further ado, here are my 29 submissions for new menu entries (Sodalicious, if you’re reading this, I accept Venmo):

  1. The Mitt Romney: milk, cream, Flintstones vitamins
  2. Johnny Lingo: 8 orders of “Mitt Romney”
  3. My Stepdad’s Girlfriend Trish, Who I Hate: 7-Up, jar of maraschino cherries
  4. The Strictly Civil Wedding: Espresso. Sinner.
  5. The CMO after the NCMO: day-old Martinelli's, coconut
  6. Provo All-Star: Red Bull, Monster, Mountain Dew Code Red, served out of a trash can
  7. Sugar House: locally sourced Diet Coke, cruelty-free maraschino cherries
  8. Vivint Salesman: Mountain Dew, Ethereum (available only in the summer)
  9. Jojo’s Oh No Slo-mo Dojo: Coke from a can that’s been shaken a lot
  10. The Polygamist: 7 orders of “Eternal Companion”
  11. Hiking the Y: cookies and cream milk served in a camelback
  12. Extra EXTRA Dirty (drink option): the same creamer for extra dirty, but you whisper something naughty as you put it in the drink
  13. Your Grandma: cream of mushroom soup, maraschino cherries
  14. Mike Lee: Dr. Pepper, crude oil, tears
  15. A Peculiar People: Apple Beer, fry Sauce
  16. The Word of Extra Wisdom: water
  17. The “Cosmo is Porn” Billboard: just the extra dirty creamer
  18. Godly Sorrow: Pepto Bismol, an ice pack
  19. Squaw Peak: 24oz breath spray
  20. The Whale on 9th and 9th: your guess is as good as ours…sherbet?
  21. The Annoying RM: Yerba Mate, pure de fresa (whoops! How do you say that in English again? Oh right, strawberry puree)
  22. My Weird Roommate that Smells Like Beef Broth: beef broth
  23. Ghosted After the First Date: anything you want. It’s on us.
  24. Engaged Freshman: baby formula, 5 hour energy
  25. Baptism by Fire: Sprite, Tabasco, Miralax
  26. February in Logan: cup of ice
  27. Holy War (drink option):  flip a coin to decide if your drink will be caffeinated or not
  28. The Second Counselor in the Sunday School Presidency: root beer, chamomile tea
  29. The Larry H. Miller Megadrink: everything on the menu

My DMs are open, Sodalicious. Your move.