29 New Sodalicious Soda Ideas

Anyone that’s been to Sodalicious knows they have the best soda names in the soda naming business. That’s half the reason you go. I would gladly pay $5 for the right to say “Your mom, extra dirty” in public. And I do. But I think it’s high time they expanded their menu to keep things fresh. So, without further ado, here are my 29 submissions for new menu entries (Sodalicious, if you’re reading this, I accept Venmo):
- The Mitt Romney: milk, cream, Flintstones vitamins
- Johnny Lingo: 8 orders of “Mitt Romney”
- My Stepdad’s Girlfriend Trish, Who I Hate: 7-Up, jar of maraschino cherries
- The Strictly Civil Wedding: Espresso. Sinner.
- The CMO after the NCMO: day-old Martinelli's, coconut
- Provo All-Star: Red Bull, Monster, Mountain Dew Code Red, served out of a trash can
- Sugar House: locally sourced Diet Coke, cruelty-free maraschino cherries
- Vivint Salesman: Mountain Dew, Ethereum (available only in the summer)
- Jojo’s Oh No Slo-mo Dojo: Coke from a can that’s been shaken a lot
- The Polygamist: 7 orders of “Eternal Companion”
- Hiking the Y: cookies and cream milk served in a camelback
- Extra EXTRA Dirty (drink option): the same creamer for extra dirty, but you whisper something naughty as you put it in the drink
- Your Grandma: cream of mushroom soup, maraschino cherries
- Mike Lee: Dr. Pepper, crude oil, tears
- A Peculiar People: Apple Beer, fry Sauce
- The Word of Extra Wisdom: water
- The “Cosmo is Porn” Billboard: just the extra dirty creamer
- Godly Sorrow: Pepto Bismol, an ice pack
- Squaw Peak: 24oz breath spray
- The Whale on 9th and 9th: your guess is as good as ours…sherbet?
- The Annoying RM: Yerba Mate, pure de fresa (whoops! How do you say that in English again? Oh right, strawberry puree)
- My Weird Roommate that Smells Like Beef Broth: beef broth
- Ghosted After the First Date: anything you want. It’s on us.
- Engaged Freshman: baby formula, 5 hour energy
- Baptism by Fire: Sprite, Tabasco, Miralax
- February in Logan: cup of ice
- Holy War (drink option): flip a coin to decide if your drink will be caffeinated or not
- The Second Counselor in the Sunday School Presidency: root beer, chamomile tea
- The Larry H. Miller Megadrink: everything on the menu
My DMs are open, Sodalicious. Your move.