A Slice of Cranberry Pickle Pie
This week Ari Rees took the Utah internet by storm when she made the cranberry pickle pie that FOX 13 violently thrust into our collective consciousness.
Not to get hyperbolic, but Ari's writeup is the very definition of investigative journalism and deserving of a Pulitzer, matched in edge-of-your-seat-ness only by the video Ari filmed of herself trying the pie.
The second I put a piece of this pie in my mouth, I knew it had become something entirely untouched by the light of God. The schlurpy crunch it made between my teeth as I chewed it was astronomically loud, and while the taste had been more balanced with the Nalley pickles, the taste of these pickles was like a sour punch in the throat, like sucking a whole lemon down my gullet. I dry heaved and came very close to vomiting. The worst part was that it wasn’t over when it was over. Less than five minutes after I ate it, that pie had hit almost every pitstop in its digestive journey through my body.
Read the full piece here:
Arianna Rees
Apparently Real Salt Lake Is The Team Of Destiny
Over in the world of Utah sports, Logan Jones wrote about RSL's ongoing miraculous playoff run.
Advancing to the conference finals bearing the tournament’s no. 7 seed by surviving no. 2 Seattle and toppling no. 3 KC is precisely the sort of thing that can heal a hurting fandom after what can only be described as a tumultuous year for the organization—and potentially attract droves of new viewers to the sport.
Admittedly, I count myself among those new viewers. Yes, I’m a sports junkie and I adore bandwagoning for the U.S. every four years for World Cup group play and I’m vaguely aware of one Christian Pulisic pulling this country into some semblance of international football relevance with every strike of his powerful calves, but still. For a long time, I was one of those dummies wondering how anyone could enjoy a 0-0 match where one team doesn’t manage to execute a single shot in 120 straight minutes of effort.
This RSL team has forced me to change my tune.
Read the full piece here:
Logan Jones
RHOSLC
Although there was no new Housewives episode last Sunday, LRE gifted us a powerful play-by-play of the most recent episode, featuring some very drunk women fighting in lederhosen.
Whitney says that Cameron, the former pastor at Mary’s church, told Meredith to “be careful.” They ask why Cameron was even at the party, but Lisa takes zero ownership and says they should ask him.
The ladies smell blood in the water and keep pressing Lisa for more information. She says Cameron has “extreme religious trauma," and Meredith yells, “All these insinuations are being made that are way more damaging, I would guess, than what the truth is.”
Here we finally see the group’s social hierarchy for what it is: Meredith is the Alpha of the group. Lisa has to cave to retain any clout or relevancy—she blurts out: “He mortgaged his house and gave her $300k.”
Read the full piece here:
L. R. Encinas
From the Podcast
This week on Hive Mind: Project Runway's Katie Kortman talks about her time on the show. We recapped Selling Sunset Season 4, celebrated the Lohanaissance, and recapped the Home Town dates on The Bachelorette. We also launched a new show! Introducing: Bad Movie Club with Kyle Treasure and Allison Boerens!