In Utah, church ball is life. And death. It’s the only thing that matters more than soda.

Pioneer Day: The World’s Greatest Holiday (Eli McCann, The Beehive)

“I think Pioneer Day is wonderful because it’s this quirky thing we have all to ourselves in this quirky state. It’s a celebration of whatever you love about Utah. It’s a celebration of the community, the towns, and the friendships. It’s a celebration of Coachman’s Diner on State Street promising on a large sign out front that ‘You’ll be pleasantly SURPRISED,’ our Five National Parks we are all starting to wish we advertised a little less, the ‘Cosmo Contains Porn’ billboards along I-15, and the outrageous light display at Draper Park on Christmas.”

READ MORE


Utah Supreme Court rules on a case of LDS ward basketball and injuries in sports (Ben Winslow, Fox 13)

In Utah, church ball is life. And death. It’s the only thing that matters more than soda. The Utah Supreme Court knows this (probably because they are also church ballers) and have handed down a pro-ball opinion on a case stemming from a 2012 injury in an LDS basketball game. One guy hurt his knee after getting clubbed by another guy, which is the story of every church ball game ever. The injured man sued the clubber and the Court is having none of it: what goes on in church ball, stays in church ball. Said Sade Turner, an attorney for the defendant, “The decision means Utahns can play hard at the sports they love without worrying about a potential lawsuit for injuries sustained in competition.” Oh boy. I can envision all the unpunished clotheslines and two-arm chops. Tread lightly around church ballers, my friends.  

READ MORE


Preston Summerhays, 16, becomes first repeat champion at Utah State Amateur since his uncle in 2001 (Jay Drew, Salt Lake Tribune)

A teenager has won the Utah State Golf Amateur in back-to-back years and I can’t tell if this is uplifting or depressing. It’s amazing Preston Summerhays can drub a field of adults in a physical competition. Unbelievable, actually. It’s distressing that no matter what adults do, teens are somehow always better. They know what’s wrong with the computer. They kick our ass in golf. Between robots and teen prodigies, is there any hope for adults in the future? Honestly, I’ve accepted my fate and am writing this while wearing an adult diaper. I don’t care anymore. We’re all going to be replaced eventually, why not now? At least I don’t have to get up to go to the bathroom and Preston does. That’s a small win, right? RIGHT?!?!

READ MORE


3 cowboys being inducted into Utah's western-themed hall of fame (Mark Saal, Standard-Examiner)

Utah has a cowboy hall of fame. HOW AM I ONLY LEARNING ABOUT THIS NOW? Three dudes with sweet hats (Gerald Young, Val Leavitt, Raymond Moser) are being inducted into the Utah Cowboy and Western Heritage Museum’s Hall of Fame. Each contributed to Utah’s rodeo scene in different ways. One announced the Little Buckaroo Rodeo, which is exactly what it sounds like. One clowned so hard, he was the first rodeo clown from Utah to earn a Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association membership. The HoF event featured western entertainment, aka country music and cowboy poetry. Said Shary Cunningham, chairman for the UCWHM, “Usually, they debate for quite a while before choosing the inductees. But this year, these three were outstanding, immediate choices.”

READ MORE


Recent Stories

The Burger Diaries Volume 2

Stadium of Fire is the Most Utah Thing Ever (And I Mean That in a Good Way)

No, But Really, Date Braden.

Like Kings Of Old

An LDS Millionaire Update

The Burger Diaries: Volume 1

Destruction/Creation

Leadership Thoughts: Get Yourself a Horse Baby

No, It's Not Some Fever Dream. Saturday's Warrior Really Happened.

Some Assumptions About The LDS Millionaire Looking For His Wife

A Very Jazzy Offseason

The Dudes of The Bachelorette as The Dudes of Utah

Tuning In For The Fourth Quarter

A Noble Nacho Quest

Water/Air

We Need An Agenda For The Upcoming 2020 Utah Governor Race

Provo's Most Eligible Finale

Lost/Found

Provo's Most Eligible Week 4

Conversion Therapy

Provo's Most Eligible Week 3

Provo's Most Eligible Week 2

Provo's Most Eligible Week 1

Unclipped Strings: The Stories No One Sees

Deseret Pork

Hive Mind Presents: Our Favorite 2018 Media

Utah's Great Songwriters

Riff & Run Vol. 2: Musings On Jazz Basketball & The NBA (Chris Rawle, The Beehive)

Happy Thanksgiving From The Beehive

The Weight Of Being Empty

Letters To Utah

Don't Be Afraid Of The Shadow People, True Stories From Utah's Haunted Hospitals: Saint Mark's

Don't Be Afraid Of The Shadow People, True Stories From Utah's Haunted Hospitals: Psych Wards

Don't Be Afraid Of The Shadow People, True Stories From Utah's Haunted Hospitals: Salt Lake Regional Medical Center

The Utah Way

Falling Out The Other Side: College Football & The Stories No One Sees

Riff & Run, Vol. 1: Musings On Jazz Basketball & The NBA

Chance

I Watched TREK So You Don't Have To And Please Don't

Prophets & Polos: The Stories No One Sees

A Rave By Any Other Name

Top Shelf Dope: The Fight to Legalize Medical Marijuana in Utah

Five Guys Without Burgers and Fries: An In-Depth Look At Upcoming 2020 Utah Governor Race

A Series Of Escalating Questions About Donovan Mitchell

You Have Kids, Now What? Volume 1: Take Them To The Symphony. Really.

Let The Season Begin

The Grudge

An Uneducated Rugby Man’s Notes On Rugby

A Very Jazzy Journal

Crown Burger And The Case For Kitsch

The Gospel of Garth Brooks