Leadership Thoughts: Get Yourself a Horse Baby

I’m an adult husband and father with a full-time job. I play city league softball, take my dog for walks, and spend countless hours on basketball-reference.com trying to figure things out. Needless to say, I have a lot to juggle and not a lot of time. In fact, everywhere I go people ask, “How are you able to be a husband and father with a full-time job and still make time for other activities?” I used to tell people it was none of their business, but I’ve come to realize I’m one of the few people on earth who has figured out how to live a perfect life. As a result, I now feel a keen responsibility to share the strict daily regimen that has produced unthinkable success and happiness in my life.

I could have posted this on LinkedIn or Instagram alongside a picture of me eating an extra large ice cream sundae while still looking super fit, but the thousands of likes and comments I would have inevitably received isn’t why I got in the thought leadership game. I’m here to change the world through influence, leadership, and thoughts. No place better symbolizes those three things than The Beehive. Whether predicting mass murders before they happen, breaking down classic films in excruciating detail, or launching an investigation into whether Cafe Rio is even good, The Beehive is home to Utah’s most fearless and independent journalism. It’s the perfect platform to publish my strict daily regimen and forever change the way your life is organized.

Allow me to influence you with leadership thoughts.

Let’s start with my morning routine. At 6:30 am every morning, my 9-month-old son starts making noise and moving around. Morning is the happiest part of his day, which means he’s either giggling or snorting like a horse right out of the gate. By contrast, I hate waking up early, but the cutest little guy in the world makes it suck less.

Leadership Thought: Get a 9-month-old baby who enjoys waking up in the morning. You can make horse noises with him and your morning will suck less.

After playing with my son, I get on social media to see what, why, and who I should be mad at that day. This lasts for more than an hour and always ends with me throwing my phone to the ground and saying, “Can you believe this is still happening in 2019?”

Leadership Thought: Start your day angry. You can use it as fuel to help you get through what’s already shaping up to be a miserable day. Social media, the most vital and powerful tool ever created by man, gives people with blue check marks next to their name an opportunity to tell the masses how terrible everything is even though we’re living in 2019.

With my phone safely on the floor, I go to a quiet place in my home and begin transcendental meditation. For those unfamiliar, TM is a form of silent mantra meditation that is practiced for 20 minutes twice per day. I signed up for TM late one night after coming to the conclusion that life is hard in 2019. The course can be purchased for just four monthly payments of $240. I use this time to relax and clear my mind. I sit in a chair, close my eyes, and repeat the mantra given to me by a certified TM instructor. The mantra given to me is simple: “Think about all the other things you could have purchased with $960.”

Leadership Thought: Take the time to get focused and energized. If you’re not on good terms with yourself, how are you going to conduct business and finalize transactions in the topsy-turvy world that is 2019?

Following a restless TM session, I hop on my Peloton bike and let attractive people tell me I can achieve physical goals I know I’ll never achieve while trying not to puke or come in dead last. This is a great way to exercise because you can do it live with instructors and riders from around the world. For example, my Peloton username is SportyGuyInLoveWithTheOutdoors and most days I’m competing with a fellow morning rider from Ohio whose username is GrampsWithCramps69. I’ll admit he’s been on a hot streak as of late, but a few weeks ago I beat him to come in second-to-last place. Just thinking about it still makes me smile.

Leadership Thought: Start your day by exercising and engaging in friendly competition. If you’re just starting out, a stationary bike that allows you to go at your own pace and workout from the comfort of your own home might be too extreme. I’d recommend easing your way into the Peloton #RideOrDie lifestyle by joining a CrossFit gym or enrolling in a jiu-jitsu class in your area.

I take ice cold showers. I do this for two reasons:

1. I make my shower so uncomfortable that no matter the horror and carnage that may befall me throughout the day, it won’t come close to the feeling of bringing my body to the brink of hypothermia, blacking all the way out, and waking up to my wife calling me an idiot as she blow dries the icicles out of my hair.

2. Tim Ferriss.

Leadership Thought: Get uncomfortable. One of the biggest problems we have in 2019 is our ability to take showers with hot running water. You want to take a hot shower? Earn it. You want to be the next Elon Musk? Earn it. You want your dad to just once tell you he loves you and is proud of the person you’ve become? Ea...

After covering myself in towels and blankets and rocking back and forth over a heat vent to get warm, I get dressed and make my bed. It may seem like a small thing, but leaving the house knowing your bed is made makes you feel like you’ve already accomplished something for the day. The constant rejection and criticism you get from your boss, co-workers, and friends won’t hurt as bad if your bed is made.

Leadership Thought: Feel accomplishe…. You know what, I’m just going to ask: what do I have to do to make you love me, dad? Will becoming a self-help guru in the most tumultuous and uncertain year in human history make you happy? You think it’s easy living in 2019? Look at what’s trending on Twitter right now and tell me you think it’s easy!

I try reading 10 pages from one of the books on Bill Gates’ summer reading list before I leave for work. To be honest, it’s my least favorite morning ritual. Those books are boring.

Leadership Thought: Do things you hate to do. Life isn’t full of dragons, wizards, or girls with dragon tattoos. It turns out most books aren’t either. The sooner you recalibrate your expectations the more prepared you’ll be for the real world – which is bleak and miserable.

By the time I get to work I’m exhausted. I put myself through the ringer during my morning regimen and it shows up in my performance. I spend the day trying not to fall asleep and seeing who I can get cancelled on Twitter.

Leadership Thought: Get enough sleep and eat right. I’m in the final stretch of a 28-day fast where I’ve only been drinking sugar water. I can’t see straight, but doing the unnecessary pays off in the end.

After work, I try to unplug and be present with my family. I used to put my phone in the other room, but it sucked having to go get it every time I got a notification. Now it’s always in my hand even when I’m walking the dog or playing softball with my friends. For dinner, we like to eat as a family. However, I don’t let that stop me from pulling up basketball-reference.com and performing what’s become a nightly ritual: an in-depth comparative statistical analysis of Michael Jordan and LeBron James. It’s important to be prepared, you never know when one of your friends is going to bring the topic up.

When it comes time for bed, I fire up my iPad and watch eight straight episodes of [note to my editor: please insert the name of a show that will make me sound cool] while scrolling through social media and drinking sugar water. By 3 am I’m ready to fall asleep and can’t wait to get back to the hustle and grind.

(Design: Josh Fowlke) (Editor: Rachel Swan)